{"id":6370,"date":"2026-02-02T14:09:08","date_gmt":"2026-02-02T14:09:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/4guysmagazine.com\/?p=6370"},"modified":"2026-02-02T14:09:16","modified_gmt":"2026-02-02T14:09:16","slug":"what-is-a-side-grindrs-other-sexual-position-option-explained","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/4guysmagazine.com\/?p=6370","title":{"rendered":"What is a Side? Grindr&#8217;s other sexual position option explained"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Move over tops and bottoms!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Make way, another sexual position option for the gays is breaking into the public consciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re talking about being a \u201cside.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But what is a side? \u201cThe word side was originally coined by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pride.com\/gay-sex\/gay-sex-tips?utm_campaign=SmartLinks\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">gay sex<\/a> therapist Dr. Joe Kort, who himself is a side,\u201d Grindr\u2019s sex and relationships expert, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/zacharyzane_\/reel\/DDM7l55OTKl\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>Zachary Zane<\/u><\/a>, tells <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pride.com\/gay-sex\/what-does-side-mean-on-grindr\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">PRIDE<\/a>. Side was added to the dating app <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hivplusmag.com\/sex-dating\/grindr-more-than-dating-app?utm_campaign=SmartLinks\">Grindr<\/a> in 2022 and Zane explains that the app defines it the same way Dr. Kort does as \u201ca queer man who doesn&#8217;t like or engage in anal penetration. He&#8217;s not a \u2018<u>top<\/u>,\u2019 \u2018<u>bottom<\/u>,\u2019 or \u2018<u>vers<\/u>.\u2019 Rather, he prefers everything on \u2018the side,\u2019 so this includes oral sex, making out, eating ass, giving one another handjobs, and so on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is also sometimes referred to as \u201coutercourse,\u201d<a href=\"https:\/\/www.greyinsight.co\/\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" target=\"_blank\"> <u>Dr. Michael Grey<\/u><\/a>, a licensed marriage and family therapist and board-certified sexologist tells PRIDE. \u201cIt differs because these sexual positions top, bottom, verse still engage in anal penetration in some form or fashion,\u201d he continues. And there are plenty of bedroom activities that sides to enjoy. \u201cThey engage in oral sex, masturbation, rimming, hugging, kissing, manual or friction techniques like frotting,\u201d says Dr. Grey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Comedian Michael Henry even did an entire sketch on the phenomenon of doing &#8220;everything but butt.&#8221; The clip is as informative as it is hilarious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"I&#039;M A SIDE\" width=\"749\" height=\"421\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/FLNx6ty8S-M?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Finally! The concept of anal sex not being the end-all-be-all for gay men needs to be more widely embraced,&#8221; one of the comments on Henry&#8217;s video reads. Another viewer wrote, &#8220;Finally, a term for it. I&#8217;ve wasted so much time over the years trying to explain and justify it. This is a leap forward in gay evolution.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If people feel more empowered with their desires, more power to them!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Why do some LGBTQ+ people identify that way?&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>There are many reasons why someone might be drawn to identifying as a side, Zane explains. \u201cFor example, they fear poop, or they find bottoming a painful and unpleasant experience,\u201d he says. \u201cNote that being a side doesn&#8217;t make you any less gay than being a dom top or a power bottom. Often, sides struggle with not feeling \u2018gay enough\u2019 because they don&#8217;t like or partake in anal penetration, but there is so much to sex than penetration.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThere is still a lot of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hivplusmag.com\/stigma?utm_campaign=SmartLinks\">stigma<\/a> about being a side and a lot of rejection from the gay community,\u201d adds Dr. Grey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It was, in part, because of this phenomenon that Grindr hopes to push back on with inclusion of the word. \u201cGrindr decided to include side as an option to be more inclusive and so sides can connect more easily. At Grindr, we want everyone to engage in the sex they want to have without shame, and adding side as an option helps with that mission,\u201d explains Zane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There can also be medical reasons for why a queer person may prefer not to engage in penetration. \u201cThere are some men who suffer from anodyspareunia, a condition that causes pain or discomfort during receptive anal sex, therefore instead of hurting, some people choose to engage in non-penetrative sexual engagements, while others do not find penetration fulfilling.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thankfully, as the concept of identifying as a \u201cside\u201d becomes more widely known, more LGBTQ+ folks are also learning it\u2019s the right fit for them, as<a href=\"https:\/\/thebodyvox.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>Court Vox<\/u><\/a>, a certified somatic sex educator, and founder of The BodyVox, tells PRIDE. \u201cIt\u2019s often underrepresented, but many folks \u2014 especially queer men \u2014 realize they\u2019re sides once they feel permission to name it,\u201d he explains.\u201dThere are also those who really don\u2019t enjoy penetrative sex at all, and being a side is a part of their erotic signature.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How common is&nbsp;it to be a side in the the LGBTQ+ community?&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Tops, bottoms, and verse lovers may get most of the attention, but there are plenty of sides living and loving alongside them. While sex and relationships expert <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pjur.us\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>Tim Lagman<\/u><\/a> tells PRIDE that it&#8217;s difficult to quantify and more studies are needed, there is some data to support the frequency of being a side. \u201cA 2011 <a href=\"https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1111\/j.1743-6109.2011.02438.x\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>study<\/u><\/a> from George Mason University surveyed nearly 25,000 gay and bisexual men about their sexual practices, and anal sex came up at only 37%. That means the other 63% preferred sexual activities associated with being a side,\u201d says Lagman. \u201cWhile this study is unclear about how many participants identify as sides, they may be more common than we think.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Do any famous LGBTQ+ folks identify as sides?&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>After Grindr rolled out its new position, people began <u>coming out<\/u> about being side-identified, including <em>Drag Race <\/em>star Bosco, who tweeted that perhaps anal is not for every queer person. Fellow drag stars Kandy Muse and DeJa Skype commented in agreement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bosco wasn\u2019t alone; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.out.com\/celebs\/2022\/12\/07\/drag-races-kerri-colby-reveals-she-identifies-side\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>Kerri Colby<\/u><\/a> has also opened up about being side-identified. &#8220;I was today years old when I learned that I don&#8217;t identify as a top or a bottom,&#8221; Colby wrote in a since-deleted tweet in December 2022. &#8220;But as a side.&#8221; She offered some much-needed edits to the definition, sending a second tweet swapping out the &#8220;a homosexual male&#8221; portion of the definition for &#8220;a person.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Where in the world are the sides?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Looking for a side? According to <u>Grindr\u2019s 2024 Wrapped<\/u>, your best bet is in Singapore, which ranked number one for percentage of users who identify as a side, followed by the Philippines, Japan, New Zealand, and Australia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How do sides have safe sex?&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>While penetration might be off the table, safe sex definitely isn\u2019t! One thing Dr. Grey emphasizes is that you can still contract STIs even without penetration. His advice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Regular testing: \u201cIf you\u2019re engaging in oral sex, or contact with genitals, or the anus, it\u2019s important to be mindful and maintain regular STI screenings to ensure that you\u2019re aware of your status.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Explore PrEP: \u201cConsider pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) to prevent the contraction of HIV, or Doxycycline Post-Exposure Prophylaxis (Doxy-PEP) to reduce the contraction of STIs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Use barrier protection: \u201cUsing a barrier such as a dental dam, or condom may be an option when engaging in sexual encounters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Seek medical advice for more specificity: \u201cAs always, talk to your doctor, and I suggest finding an affirming LGBTQ+ doctor or medical professional who can address unique factors within the LGBTQ+ community. Most LGBTQ+ centers have medical staff that can help.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, as with any sexual interaction, communication and consent are essential for sides as Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist, relationship therapist, and author at <a href=\"http:\/\/passionerad.se\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>Passionerad.se<\/u><\/a> emphasizes to PRIDE. \u201cSide sex isn&#8217;t any \u2018milder\u2019 than anal, and there\u2019s plenty of things that a side might not be into, so always make sure everything that happens is enjoyable for both!\u201d she says.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Move over tops and bottoms! Make way, another sexual position option for the gays is breaking into the public consciousness. We\u2019re talking about being a \u201cside.\u201d But what is a side? \u201cThe word side was originally coined by gay sex therapist Dr. Joe Kort, who himself is a side,\u201d Grindr\u2019s sex and relationships expert, Zachary<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":6371,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[57],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-6370","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-sexrelationship"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/4guysmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6370","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/4guysmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/4guysmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/4guysmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/4guysmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6370"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/4guysmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6370\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6372,"href":"https:\/\/4guysmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6370\/revisions\/6372"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/4guysmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6371"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/4guysmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6370"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/4guysmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6370"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/4guysmagazine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6370"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}